A brush with an old sage:

T'is The Season

by Hal Swift

It's a late afternoon in early December, and already gettin' dark out.  Waco Walmsley is settin' at the buttermilk bar in at Shorty's Place, and workin' on his third mug of it, already.  Plus that, he's scarfin' down buttermilk biscuits Logan West has stirred up in Shorty's kitichen.  And, plus that, he's puttin' fresh churned butter on each of 'em.

Shorty says, "Waco, with all that butterfat you're putting down, you're gonna start lookin' like that doughboy in the TV ads."

Waco says, "Naw, by the time I get through throwin' down hay, haulin' it out to m'cows, and spreadin' it around, I won't put on one more pound."

"Makes me happy," says Logan, "to see a man enjoyin' what I bake.  Y'wait for Shorty t'give you a compliment around here, and you could grow hair on your eyeballs."

A blast of cold wind bursts into the room as the front door bangs open, and Waco's niece Sioux, and Dawn the letter lady come in, all rosy-cheeked and out of breath. 

"Boy, it's some weather out there!"  Dawn says.

"You got that right, sister!" says Sioux.  Then, to Waco, "Hey, Uncle Wake!  You poundin' down more of Logan's buttermilk biscuits?  You're gonna look like that doughboy on TV if you don't watch out."

"I already been through that with Shorty," says Waco.  "And, I am not worried one little bit.  I'll have all that butterfat worked off by noon tomorrow."

This is the time of year that everybody gathers at Shorty's Place to help him decorate for Christmas.  When Dawn and Sioux get their packages all piled up on one of Shorty's big party tables, they announce they're all finished doing their Christmas shopping.

A collective groan goes up from the men in the room, and Shorty says, "Happens every year.  The wimmin all go out and get their Christmas shoppin' done, and the men just set around and think about it."

John, the newspaper man says, "Not me, Shorty.  I haven't thought about Christmas shoppin' in years."

Dawn, the letter lady says, "Now John, I saw you in Big Jim Miller's Drytown Mercantile Store just the other day, and you sure looked like you were thinking about Christmas shopping."

John blushes and says, "Well, it wasn't for Christmas.  It was for something else entirely."

Sioux whispers to Dawn, "What was he looking at?"

In a whisper loud enough to be heard ten feet away, Dawn says, "I don't believe he'd want me to tell, but I think it was for a lady."

In a voice loud enough for the whole room to hear, Sioux says, "You buying a present for a lady, John?"

John bows his head and covers his eyes with one hand. "Man!" he says, "Sometimes I wish I'd stayed in California!  In a small town like this, everybody not only knows you, they know what you're doing!"

Sioux says, "Okay, Mister John the newspaper man, if you don't want to tell us what you were shopping for, we won't insist you tell us."

John says, "Good!"

Shorty says, "All right, kids.  I think it's about time a couple young ladies who promised to help me decorate this place for the holidays, quit pryin' into other folks's business and start hangin' some of them crepe paper streamers I saved from last year."

Sioux says, "Deputy Anson McBean is supposed to be here.  Has anybody seen him today?"

John says, "I saw 'im just a little while ago.  He was on foot, in hot pursuit of a little old white-haired lady driving one of those electric shopping carts from Big Jim Miller's store."

Shorty, Dawn, and Sioux all say, "What?!?"

"That's right," says John.  "They were headed toward Mrs. Ferguson's grape arbor the last I saw 'em."

Shorty says, "Uh oh, she ain't gonna like it one little bit if they mess up her grape arbor!"

"You got that right," says Dawn.  "That grape arbor is like family to her."

"Well," says John, "I have faith in Drytown's only deputy to handle the situation with Solomon like wisdom."

Another blast of cold wind bursts into the room as the front door bangs open, and Deputy McBean comes huffin' and woofin' inside.  "I need t'set down a while," he pants, "over by the wood stove."

John says, "You catch that old white-haired lady in the electric shopping cart, Anson?"

"Yep, I got 'er all right.  Trouble was, I didn't get 'er in time to keep 'er outta Mrs. Ferguson's grape arbor."

Sioux says, "Oh, Anson, I'm so sorry."

Dawn says, "What did you do with the old lady, Anson?"

Deputy McBean leans back in 'is chair and says--with just a touch of pride, "I turned 'er over to Mrs, Ferguson to straighten things out."

Shorty says, "Awww, I hope Mrs. Ferguson doesn't hurt the old gal."

Deputy McBean says, "Not likely, Shorty.  She's Mrs Ferguson's granmaw."

John says, "What'd I tell you?  Solomon-like in all respects."

Shorty says, 'This ain't gettin' any Christmas decoratin' done, kids.  You think maybe you could get started on that?  I'd like t'see it all done before the dinner crowd comes in."

Mailman Dan, Big Jim, and Sergei the blacksmith, come in about now.  Yeah, and there's that blast of cold air that comes in with 'em.  Sheriff Freddie Marks comes in too, havin' brought ol' Charley Walker along with 'im.

Sioux says, "All right!  This is more like it!  Dawn, you want to hand out the jobs and get everybody going here?"

Dawn says, "Glad to!"  She puts Sergei, the seven-and-a-half-foot-tall former circus giant, to work suspending those crepe paper streamers from the ceiling.  Big Jim holds Dawn up, so she can help 'im. 

Deputy McBean and Logan set up the Christmas creche on a table over by the front door.  And Sheriff Marks, and John the newspaper man, help Sioux decorate the tree.

Some cowboys from the Bar-D Ranch come in, and Dawn puts them to work, settin' up the little red and green candle holders on the bar and each of the tables.  Miss Margo, the town librarian, makes sure they do it right.  Dave P. Fisher, famous actor, story-teller and poet, joins Waco in volunteering to put the white candles in 'em, and Shorty's Place is lookin' like the very Spirit of Christmas in no time at all.

Ever'body stops talking when Shorty hollers, "Okay, folks, I'm gonna plug in the Christmas Tree lights now!  Anson, you wanta turn off the overhead lights for me?"

Anson does, and the room is totally dark for a couple seconds while Shorty fumbles with gettin' the plug in the socket the right way.  Then the tree lights come on, and all over the room you hear people saying "Oh!" and "Ah!" and whispering their approval. 

Deputy McBean plugs in the lights for the creche, and there are more approving comments.

Sioux sets down at the piano, and begins playing "The First Noel."  Logan comes over and stands next to 'er with his mellow sounding ol' Ashborn banjo.  Sioux begins singing in her soft alto, and Logan joins in, signing tenor.  Waco is next into the mix, singin' bass, then everyone there joins in singing one Christmas carol after another.

Overcome with the Christmas Spirit, Shorty announces that he's got a free mug of sasparilla for everybody, and asks if it'd be okay to propose a toast.  Of course, they all say yes, but Shorty says, "Not me, I want Charley to propose the toast.  How 'bout it, Charley."

Charley stands and says, "Thank you, Shorty.  I've been mostly just playin 'Old Man' here, and watchin' you folks do all the work.  If you'll all raise your mugs on high, I'll be honored to offer a toast. 

Logan stops playing, but Sioux very softly plays "Silent Night."

Charley says, "May the Spirit of Christmas touch and fill every heart here tonight.  May the Eternal Spirit of Love be expressed in such a way that there's no doubt left in the minds of anyone, Who it is we worship this time of year, and why."

In his deep bass voice, Waco rumbles, "Amen."  And it's echoed by the voices of everyone there.

Shorty turns up the house lights, and Sioux and Logan strike up a rousing rendition of "Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly." 

Shorty goes back behind the bar and Waco goes and takes his usual seat on the customers' side.  "What'll y'have, Waco?" says Shorty.

Waco looks around the room, turns back to Shorty and smiles and says, "I already got it, Shorty.  I already got it."

Shorty grins and says, "I know what y'mean Waco--I got it, too."

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If you're like I am, you remember the melody for most Christmas carols, but not all the words.  Rawlin Blake, of Las Vegas, invites you to visit his site that lists all of my favorites, and perhaps yours, too.

And Merry Christmas!

http://www.nevada.edu/~blake/Christmas.carols.html

•••

(Ed. Note:  For a closer look at Hal Swift's cowboy poetry, go to http://www.cowboypoetry.com/halswift.htm )