[From Dan DeQuille, The Big Bonanza: An Authentic History of the Discovery, History, and Working of the World-Renowned Comstock Lode of Nevada (1876)]

During summer, men who have for sale all manner of quack nostrums, men with all kinds of notions for sale, street-shows, beggars, singers, men with electrical machines, apparatus for testing the strength of the lungs, and a thousand other similar things, flock to Virginia City. Of evenings, when the torches of these parties of peddlers, showmen, and quack doctors are all lighted and all are in full cry a great fair seems to be under headway in the principal street of town — there is a perfect Babel of cries and harangues.

The man with the electrical machine, for instance, leads off with:

Who is the next gentleman who wishes to try the battery? It makes the man feel young, and the young man feel strong. Remember, gentlemen, that a quarter of a dollar pays the bill. Try the battery! Try the battery! Bear in mind that there can be nothing applied equal to it, as it is one of nature's own remedies. A quarter of a dollar places you in a position to have your nervous system electrified. The small sum of one quarter of a — Try the battery, sir? The small sum of one quarter of a dollar pays the whole entire bill. Who is the next man to try the battery? Try the battery! Try the battery and improve your health while you have the opportunity. Who is next man that wishes to — Try the battery, sir? Try the battery! Try the battery! Purifies the blood, strengthens the nervous system; cures headaches, toothaches, neuralgia, and all diseases of the nervous system. Can be applied to a child six months old as well as to a full-grown person. Try the battery! Try the battery! Re-e-emember, gentlemen, that the sma-a-all and tri-i-fling sum of o-one quarter of a dollar pays the whole entire — Try the battery, sir? Try the battery! Try the battery! Can regulate the instrument to suit all constitutions. Try the battery! Re-e-member that electricity is life. It is what you, each and every one of you, require, and it is utterly impossible for you to live without it. Try the battery! Try the battery!"

The soap-root toothpowder man next starts in with his little talk:

'Gentlemen, I have here three little articles, and I start out by telling you that they are all three humbugs. But starting out with this proposition that they are all humbugs, I only do so in order that before I get through I may [Try the battery!] disprove said proposition to your entire satisfaction. I will first show you a little article called [Try the battery! Try the battery!] the California Soap-root Toothpowder. Years ago, gentlemen, about seventy-five miles northeast of Weaverville, in the State of California, I saw the Indians [Try the battery!] washing their clothes with this root. I examined it and found [One quarter of a dollar pays the entire bill!] it was a wonderful production of nature, gentlemen. I found that it [Makes the old man feel young, and the young man feel strong] grew in abundance in the mountains. I procured a quantity of it and took it to [Try the battery, sir?] San Francisco, when I began to [Try the battery!] to try [Try the battery!] experiments with it. The result was, gentlemen, that I produced this beautiful article which [Purifies the blood, strengthens the nervous system, and improves your general health!] instantly removes all stains from the teeth and [A quarter of a dollar pays the whole entire bill!] leaves the breath pure and sweet. [Try the battery!]"

The German ballad-singer now comes to the front:

"Lauterbach hab' i mein' Strumpf verlorn, Ohne Strumpf geh' i not hoam,

Geh' i halt weider auf Lauterbach,

Kauf' mir an Strumpf zu dem oan.

Tillee leari, oiko, hi oiko, hi oiko!

Tillee oiko, oiko. Tilli oi-i-oi-oiko!

Tillee leari — [Try the battery!] hi oiko! Z' Lauterbach hab' i mein Herz verlorn,

Ohne Herz kann i not [Try the battery!] leb'n."

Clem Berry (Scipio Africanus) now takes the field:

"Only two dollars, gentlemen, takes you to Reno by this splendid Concord coach, landing you there at six o'clock in the evening, when you may [Try the battery!] sleep till the train arrives [Seventy-five miles northeast of Weaverville, in the State of California, where I saw the Indians ] from the East, when you [Try the battery!] get aboard [which removes all stains from the teeth] at the same time as the passengers by the Virginia and Truckee Railroad [Tillee oiko, hioiko!] and [Try the battery!] are perfectly fresh — [Oi-i-oi-oiko!]"

The spotted boy, dwarf, and big snakes now loom up, and we hear that:

"This wonderful spotted boy was captured in the wilds of Africa [Seventy-five miles northeast of Weaverville —] with his strange companion [Lauterbach], the huge boa constructor, which you see [Try the battery!] him handle with the greatest possible [Hioiko!] freedom [without causing the gums to bleed]. And here is the wonderful little Fairy Queen, eighteen years of age, and only thirty-one inches in height. She was born [Ohne Strumpf] in Grand Rapids [Seventy-five miles northeast of Weaverville], Wisconsin; has a thorough education, and possesses [A splendid Concord coach] the [Small sum of one quarter of a dollar] graces and manners becoming a [Lauterbach] lady of the highest [Hioiko!] standing in society."

All hands round:

"Get right aboard here, now, and at six o'clock I'll land you at Reno, seventy-five miles northeast of Weaverville, in the wilds of Africa, where I saw the Indian thirty-one inches in height, born at Grand Rapids, try the battery and take all the stains out of the wonderful spotted boy, who only eats once in four months, and sheds his skin twice a year. Having been educated in a convent in Milwaukee, geh i not hoam to try the battery, when the big white snake eats the little girl across the way you'll get a drink for a bit, see the sea-lion try the battery free, up in the mountains this wonderful Lauterbach soap-root climbs a tree and then hangs by the tail, tilee leari, oiko hi oiko! which purifies the blood, strengthens the nerves of the spotted boy, cleanses the teeth, and does not fear to encounter either the lion or the tiger, being able to regulate the instrument to suit all constitutions."