[From Col. James J. Ayers, Gold and sunshine, reminiscences of early California (1922)]

 

 

CHAPTER XXII

"MARK TWAIN" DOING THE ISLANDS - HOW HE DISCHARGED HIMSELF FROM THE "CALL" - MARK AS A JOKER - COULD GIVE BUT NOT TAKE - HIS INTENDED FATHER-IN-LAW MAKES AN AWKWARD PROPOSITION - HE DISPOSES OF IT HANDSOMELY - ORIGIN OF THE RECIPROCITY TREATY - A NEWSPAPER DRENCHED TO DEATH

            On my return to Honolulu I was astonished to find that "Mark Twain" had arrived a few days before. He was in San Francisco when I left holding the position of reporter on the Call.

            "How in thunder, Mark," I asked him when we met, "does it happen that you have come here?"

            "Well, you see," said Mark, in his peculiar drawl, "I waited for six months for you fellows to discharge me—for I knew you did not want me,—and getting tired of waiting, I discharged myself."

            There was "more truth than poetry" in Mark's observation about our desire to get rid of him; for, however valuable his services had proven to a Nevada paper, where he might give full play to his fertile imagination and dally with facts to suit his

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fancy, that kind of reporting on a newspaper in a settled community, where the plain, unvarnished truth was an essential element in the duties of a reporter, could hardly be deemed satisfactory. It was true that we had long desired to dispense with Mark's services, but had a delicacy about bluntly telling him so. We had, moreover, thrown out broad hints to that effect, but he seemed to be obtuse to their meaning, and kept on. When we would tell him that he was doing injustice to himself by staying on the coast, as an obscure reporter, instead of going East and exercising the play of his undoubted literary talents in a broad field where they would be appreciated, he would answer:

            "Oh, y-a-a-s. I know. But the coast is good enough for me." And that would end it.

            "Well, Mark," I asked, "what do you expect to do here?"

            "Oh, I'm all right. The Sacramento Union made me a good offer to come to the Islands and write them up in my own way, and here I am to carry out the contract."

            True enough, that was the gist of Mark's mission, and he wrote a series of letters to the Union which attracted the widest attention. They were picturesque, graphically descriptive, abounded in felicitous humor, exhibited a novel and penetrating study of the native character, and displayed an acuteness of foresight as to the value of the islands

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to the United States as a naval outpost on the Pacific, which was instinct with prophetic acumen. They were not only universally read in California, but they arrested the attention of Eastern men of letters, and paved the way to his engagement as the correspondent of the New York Tribune to accompany the excursion of the "pilgrims to Palestine." This excursion resulted in that delightful book, "The Innocents Abroad," which at once established his fame as the first of American humorists.

            Whilst Mark delighted in jokes at other people's expense, he was unusually thin-skinned when he himself was made the subject of the play. He never fully forgave his friends in Virginia City who presented him with a silver-mounted Meerschaum pipe, which he ascertained the next day to be made out of common clay, the mountings being fashioned out of tin. At the risk of his displeasure, however, I will here record a story about him which was greatly relished by his California friends when it first got out. Mark was referred to her father by his wife when he proposed and the old gentleman said:

            "Mr. Clemens, I have only known you for a short time, and I certainly am favorably impressed with you from what I have seen. But this is a very serious matter with me. You know a great part of your life has been spent in those wild places on the far Pacific coast, and your reputation there, for

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all I know, may have been such that I would refuse to entrust the happiness of my daughter to your keeping. Could you not give me some references to reputable persons in Virginia City or San Francisco to whom I could communicate as to your conduct and standing in those places?"

            "Of course I could," said Mark, in all seriousness. "I could refer you to Joe Goodman, of the Virginia City Enterprise, Jerry Driscoll, a successful stock broker on the Comstock, General McComb, of the Alta or Mr. George Ed. Barnes of the San Francisco Call. But then what would be the use? I know them all well enough to be certain that they would lie for me just as I would lie for them under similar circumstances. I think you had better take me on trust as I am, without going to the Pacific coast for credentials."

            And the old gentleman was so struck with the novelty and candor of the humorist's answer that he did.