[Dan De Quille, A Day's Fishing in Nevada, New York Sun, November 1, 1885]

 

A DAY'S FISHING IN NEVADA.

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HOW THE BUTTONS HAD LOTS OF SPORT.

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Out for a Day's Fishing — Prospecting for Wind — The First Nibble — A Chinaman's Luck — He Kills a Bear — A Dog who Eats Raw Fish — Singing for Curious Italians.

            VIRGINIA CITY, Nevada, Oct 20. — The Button family had long been talking of going fishing — nearly as long as had Horace Greeley at the day of his death. Last Friday they got off. They took their way toward the Carson River, which stream they aimed to strike a mile or two below the town of Dayton. For the expedition they had chartered a two-horse spring wagon — an old rattle-trap vehicle which contained two double seats — and they set out bright and early.

            All told the Button family made quite a party. First were the heads of the family, Joel B. Button and Samantha J. Button. Then came the two girls, Molly, aged 18 and Kitty, aged 16 years. In a drove by himself, like Baxter's hog, came Master Bob Button, aged 13 years. After Bob came Wo Sing, the Chinese cook, and Danger, the dog. Wo Sing was taken along to hunt bait and make himself generally useful, and Danger, a pup a few months old, was allowed to be of the party because Mrs. Button thought the country air would be good for his distemper. Danger was allotted a place in the back part of the wagon along with the Chinaman order to spare his legs and lungs.

PROSPECTING THE WIND.

            The Button family were all in high spirits as they set out from Virginia City and drove along down Six Mile Cañon. Papa Button stuck the forefinger of his left hand into his mouth to wet it, held it high in the air for a moment, then cried out : "It is just the day for fishing ; the wind is in the southwest."

            "The wind is always in the southwest in this country, papa," said Miss Button.

            "A'most allus, a'most allus," said Joel Button, "but today it's more south than usual when it is southwest. A south wind is the thing for fish ! It's about south, I guess — just the day for luck !"

            "How do the fish know which way the wind is, papa, when they are always in the water ?" asked Miss Kitty.

            "Well they — you see they — they, er —"

            "Why they can of course find out when they come on top to breathe," said Miss Button, chipping in.

            "Come up to breathe, yer granny !" cried Master Bob; "fishes breathes water. When they want to see which way the wind blows, they jump up in the air — I've seen 'em do it."

            "Be still, children," said Mrs. Button, "and just let your papa tell us."

            Thus appealed to Joel Button hemmed a time or two and then said: "They can tell by noticing which way the waves run."

            "Now you see," said Mrs. Button, turning to her progeny, "not one of you knowed till yer papa told you !"

            "But how can they see when the water is rily ?" cried Master Bob.

            "Robert," said Mrs. Button solemnly, "don't dispute with your father !"

            Again Mr. Button wetted his finger and prospected the air. "Yes, square south," said he ; "they'll bite gloriously !"

            "I hope we may get 'em," said Mrs. Button ; "but it's Friday and if I'd had my way we'd have waited till tomorrow."

            "Pooh, pooh !" cried Mr. Button.  "Just the day for fishing. Ain't Friday fish day all the world over ?"

            "It may be the day for eatin' of 'em," said Mrs. Button, gloomily ; "but that's no sign it's the day for catchin' of 'em."

MASTER BOB GETS A NIBBLE.

            "Oh, oh !" yelled Master Bob, who was seated flat in the bottom of the vehicle among the fishing tackle — "Oh ! oh ! stop the wagon !"

            "Heavens, child ! what is the matter ?" cried Mrs. Button.

            "Oh ! I'm stuck with a pin, a needle, a nail !"

            "It's one o' them fish hooks ! Whoa Dolly ; whoa, Sam whoa !  It's one o' them fish hooks," said Mr. Button.

            "Of course it's a nasty fishin' hook," cried Mrs. Button. "Poor child !  However are we going to get it out ?  Whereabouts is it, my dear ?"

            Bob did not choose to specify the seat of his problem but howled vociferously.

            "This is what comes of goin' a-fishin' on a Friday !" announced Mrs. Button.

            "Pooh, pooh ! Samantha ; much difference it'll make.  Wo Sing, get that hook out of Bob !"  and Mr. Button awaited events.

            "All lite Mista Button," said Wo Sing. "Me takee fis off hooka belly quick !" and placing Bob on all fours, Sing went for him.

            "Oh, oh !" yelled Bob when the Chinaman began operations.

            "Him hook belly tight !" said Wo Sing.

            Bob had occasion to utter many "ohs" and "ahs" before he was rid of the hook, as the Chinaman was obliged to cut it from the line and pull it clean through.

            At last Wo Sing held up the naked hook with a grin and cried : "Me catchee all lite !"

            "Poor darling !" cried Mrs. Button. "I declare if he hasn't bit a piece out of the side of the wagon-box !  Lord, Lord, Joel, the child is a-takin' the lockjaw !"

            "Don't be a fool, Samantha Jane Button !" cried Joel.  "If he'd got hooked in the bottom of the foot, then you might talk !"

            "Well, Joel, I'd rather be hooked — I'd rather be hooked any other day than a Friday !"

            Wo Sing's soul was singing for joy all the time he was readjusting the hook on the line ; for he cordially hated Master Bob, who made himself a regular pig and pest about the kitchen.

            As the party proceeded down the cañon Bob two or three times yelled out "Stop the wagon !" but his alarms were false ones, and upon second thought he was obliged to own that they proceeded from the old sore.

THE ARRIVAL AT THE RIVER.

            When the party reached the river and were about getting out of the wagon, Mrs. Button cast her household eye over the vehicle and startled everyone by shouting in her shrillest home tones : "Mercy on me ! Where's that lunch ? Wo Sing, are you sitting on that lunch basket ?"

            "Me no sitta baskik, Missa Button," said Wo. "Me no hab see him baskik, Missa Button !"

            "Where's Danger ? Where's that nasty sneakin' pup ?" screamed Mrs. Button.

            "Dansha he jump out wagon ; guess he go look fur labbit — mabbe go catchee bear," said Wo Sing, who imagined the cottonwood groves along the river to be filled with all manner of wild animals and had brought a six-shooter along for use against them.

            "Don't be a fool, Wo Sing !" cried Mrs. Button.  "Get up, girls. The basket must have slid forward under your seat."

            But no basket was found.

            "Wo Sing, what did you do with that basket ?" yelled Mrs. Button, stamping a foot upon the bottom of this wagon box so hard that she broke through up to her knees.

            While Mrs. Button was pulling her leg up from among the splinters of the old rattle-trap, Wo Sing explained as follows:

            "Lush baskik ? Me give to Masta Bob."

            "Why, I remember now," said Miss Kitty.  "I saw Bob set the basket under the stairway in the hall and then go off to the woodshed after his fishing rod."

            "I declare," said Mrs. Button, "that boy ought to be spanked !"

            "No, mother," said Miss Button, "think of what he has already suffered."

            "What shall we all do ? We shall all just starve !" mourned Mrs. Button. "We might just as well turn about and go home. This is what comes of going a-fishing on a Friday." 

            "Pooh, pooh, 'Mantha, don't fret !" said Joel.  "There's half a dozen Italians settled on ranches 'long up and down the river ; we can go to a ranch and get something to eat. Then our lunch will be just fine for us when we get home."

            "Joel Barclay Button, you take things mighty easy !" cried Mrs. Button. "You'll find this will be a pretty expensive trip — train hire counted in — by the time you pay for this whole gang, Chinaman, dog and all !"

            "Come, come, 'Mantha," said Mr. Button coaxingly, "don't take on and spoil the only holiday we've had for years — the first one the whole family has ever taken."

            "Well, well, Joel, I'll say nothing more but this is what comes of —— Well, well, I'm deaf and dumb !" and Mrs. Button shut her mouth.

FISHING EXPLOITS OF THE BUTTONS.

            The Button family finally got out their rods and lines and began to hunt for bait. Mr. Button explained that for bait worms, bugs, grasshoppers, horseflies, frogs or even young catbirds might be utilized.

            In turning over stones and old logs and in pulling the bark off rotten stumps, lizards, scorpions, centipedes, ground-dogs and tarantulas were found to abound but no good wholesome bugs or worms such as a decent trout could be expected to take into his mouth.

            At last to the joy of all, Wo Sing made his appearance, crying : "Me catchee glas-hop !"  and exhibited a tin can containing a handful of grasshoppers.

            The Button family then baited their hooks and strung themselves out along up and down the stream.

            Hope illuminated every countenance. All were silent and expectant. A level row of poles and a range of perpendicular lines !  Although it was Friday, Mrs. Button watched her line with a hopeful and a thrifty eye. She was thinking that, after all, they might catch enough trout to last the whole family a week.

            Bob was the first to break the prevailing enthusiastic silence.

            "I've got a bite !" cried he.

            "Have you, dear ?" said his mother, turning upon him an admiring eye.

            "Yes, mother, on the end of my nose."

            "You'll be fussin' about a different kind of 'bite' before you get home," said Mrs. Button. "You good-for-nothing child, to go and forget that lunch !"

            After half an hour of holding out of poles without a nibble, the Buttons began to move along the banks in search of better places.

            "Oh ! did you see that one jump into the water ?" cried Miss Kitty.

            "You goose. It was nothing but a frog !" said her mother.

            "A frog !" cried Mr. Button, all excitement. "Ah !  If only I had that frog I might catch a ten-pounder ! Wo Sing ! Wo Sing ! Here, Wo Sing, can't you come and catch me this frog ?"

            "Flog !" cried Wo Sing. "Flog, Mista Button ? Where go flog ?" And he began looking up and down across the river.

            "Where did the frog go, Kitty ?" asked Mr. Button. "Where did it go, 'Mantha ?"

            "Into the water of course," said Mrs. Button. "Do you suppose it went up a tree ?"

            "Well, I reckon not," said Mr. Button dryly. "I reckon not, seein' it's a Friday."

            "Joel Barclay Button, you ——"

            "Snake ! Snake !" here shrieked Miss Button, who had drawn a long black stick out of the water and, dropping her rod, she took to the brush. There she stumbled and fell to the ground, but instantly bounded to her feet crying "Oh, oh ! Here's another ! Help me, quick ; it's got me by the leg !"

            Joel Button bounced. He was at his daughter's side in about two jumps. She held out her leg and, lo ! there dangled her garter.

            "Garter snake !" screamed Master Bob. 

            "With a lot of women and their nonsense there's no doin' nothin' !" growled Mr. Button. "But for your fuss about snakes I'd have got that frog."

A FISH AT LAST.

            For an hour or more the Button family fished, fought mosquitoes, and grumbled, when, at a moment when all were most dejected, screams of delight from Miss Kitty aroused every one.

            "I've got one ! Help me hold him !" cried she, and she pranced about on the bank with a minnow about three inches long dangling upon her hook.

            The Buttons dropped their rods and ran to participate in the new excitement. Danger, the dog, also ran with the rest. Seeing a glittering object dancing about at a height of two or three feet above the ground, that spoiled pup evidently thought that some new game had been invented for his special benefit. He leaped open mouthed into the air to catch the new toy, and down his throat it slipped.

            Kitty had seen the intention of the dog and had elevated her rod just a little too late to save the fish, but just in time to fasten her hook in Danger's throat.

            Instantly the whole Button family was in a state of commotion. Danger ki-yied ! Bob danced with delight at seeing a hook fast in other flesh than his own. Mrs. Button scolded and Mr. Button called upon Wo Sing to catch the pup, who was whirling round and round and winding the line about his legs. After Sing had caught the pup it was found that the hook, fish and all was fastened so far down his gullet that there was no getting at it. Finally it was found necessary to cut the line, leaving about six inches of it hanging out of the pup's mouth for future reference.

AN ITALIAN DINNER.

            By that time those various exercises had been brought to a conclusion the whole Button family had become ravenously hungry. Mrs. Button was for leaving for home at once, but Mr. Button would not hear of starting till they had found something to eat. So they "put to" the horses and started for the nearest Italian ranch, a house half a mile away.

            The people —— half a dozen men and two or three women —— were found to be recent arrivals from the old country. They spoke so little English that it was long before they could be made to understand that a meal was wanted. When the meal did at last come it was in the shape of soups, stews and other messes all so filled with garlic that the Buttons could not have swallowed a mouthful had they not been half starved. Even Wo Sing, when it came his turn at the table, turned up his nose at the garlic-reeking dishes.

HOW MR. BUTTON SETTLED THE BILL.

            When the bill was called for it was found to be 50 cents each —— $2 50. Mr. Button put his hand into his pocket for his purse and a blank look overspread his face. He had put on an old suit for the excursion, and had left his purse at home. Not one of the family had a cent.

            Mr. Button tried to explain to the Italians, but they could not or would not understand. They constantly shook their heads and cried : "Give-a me money ! Give-a me money !"

            Evidently the Italians thought that the Buttons were deliberately trying to work upon them a swindling game.  The men gathered about, and began to look ugly.

            "Joel Barclay Button, see what you have brought us to !" cried Mrs. Button.  "We shall be murdered !"

            "Samantha Jane, hold your tongue !" cried Mr. Button, and again he went through all his pockets and held out his empty hands to the Italians, who shook their heads and more fiercely cried : "Give-a me money ! Give-a me money !"

THE LOST SHAWL.

            Finally Mr. Button thought of his watch and, taking it off, made the people understand that they could keep it until he paid. Thus at last the Button family managed to settle their bill.  Mrs. Button then started in to roundly rate Joel for his carelessness but in the midst of her tirade suddenly paused, held up her hands, and cried: "My shawl !  Where is my shawl ?  Kitty, Molly, have you seen my shawl ?"

            "I saw you fold it up and lay it on a stump there on the river when you began fishing," said Miss Kitty.  "Didn't you get it ?"

            "Sakes alive ! So I did, and there it is yet, if somebody hasn't found it and carried it off." 

            "Never mind, 'Mantha," said Mr. Button.  "I'll send Wo Sing for it.  We can wait here till he gets back.  He'll get it in ten minutes."  Wo Sing was started off with elaborate directions from Mrs. Button and Miss Kitty.

WO SING SHOOTS A BEAR !

            After Wo Sing was gone Mr. Button exerted himself to please the Italians. He had heard that all Italians were great singers and he tried to make them understand that he wanted to hear them in a few snatches of opera. His talk not being comprehended, he made Kitty and Molly sing, greatly to their shame and to the disgust of Mrs. Button. The Italians looked surprised and finally began laughing. They did not at all understand why the young ladies had favored them with a song.

            At this Mrs. Button said : "Joel Barclay Button, I think you must be taking leave of your senses ! Who knows but that the wretches might think the girls want to make love to the men folks of their nasty ranch !"

            Just now a great banging of firearms was heard up the river. The Italians all ran out and listened. Bang ! bang ! went a gun or pistol. Nobody could understand it.  But at last Mr. Button said "I guess it's only some hunters."

            The Italians appeared to be of the same opinion as they all reentered and seated themselves.  In a little while Wo Sing came tearing into the house wild-eyed.  "Me shoot bear !  Me shoot bear !" cried he.

            "Shot a bear !" cried Mr. Button.

            "Shot a bear !" cried Mrs Button and daughters in chorus.

            "Hurrah !" cried Bob.  "Wo Sing's shot a bear !"

            The Italians looked and listened, bewildered and amazed.

            "Where did you shoot a bear ?" asked Mr. Button.  

            "Up by bank liber, in brush !" said Wo Sing.  "Me tink kill um belly dead !"

            Just here in rushed an Italian farm hand, also wild-eyed and excited.  He began jabbering to the people of the house, all of whom in turn became greatly excited.

            "By the Lord Harry," cried Mr. Button, turning to Mrs. Button.  "I guess Wo has shot a bear, sure enough !"

THE BUTTON FAMILY GO AFTER THE GAME.

            As Wo Sing had not brought Mrs. Button's shawl, and as they wanted to bring the bear to the city, the Button family got aboard their wagon to drive back up the river.  As they were about setting off two of the Italians came and climbed into the wagon, one of whom returned Mr. Button his watch.   Mr. Button could not at all understand why his watch was given back, but finally turned to Mrs. Button and said : "Ah, I see that they're getting mighty good now that I've got a bear !"

            "If you give them hide or hair of it, Joel, you'd be a bigger fool than I think you," said Mrs. Button.

            "But won't Wo Sing claim it ?" asked Miss Button.

            "Ain't Wo Sing a-workin' for us ?" said Mrs. Button.

            On reaching the river the Italian who had rushed in after Wo Sing jumped out of the wagon and led the way.  Mr. Button drove the team after him through the willows for some distance, when the man halted by a little thicket.  Mr. Button drove up to the spot, when the other Italian jumped to the ground, and pushed into the thicket.

            "Is he dead ? Haul him out !" cried Mr. Button.

            Whether or not the men understood, they promptly hauled "him out."       

            "A calf !" cried the Button family, astonished and dismayed.

            Wo Sing gazed and ground forth : "Me sink him bear."

            "Now we are in a fix !" cried Mrs. Button ; "and if I die for it, I'll say that this is what comes of goin' a-fishin' on a Friday."

            After Mr. Button and the Italians had vainly attempted to understand one another, the latter cut all talk short by loading the calf —— a little wooly yearling —— into the wagon and they themselves getting in with the Button family.  Pointing towards Mount Davidson, the cried, "Go Virginia City !"

            "Yes," said Mr. Button sadly ; "they, calf and all, will have to go to Virginia, where we can find an interpreter and settle this matter."

            Then the Buttons took the road for home.     

THE BUTTON FAMILY IN PROCESSION.

            The wagon was overloaded, and the team moved slowly.  Once Joel tried to whistle, but Mrs. B. gave a "hem" that cut him short.  At snail pace they moved on up the great cañon, the wheels of the vehicle laboriously grinding among the rocks that filled the neglected roadway.  All went well, however, till half the distance up the cañon had been traversed.  Then came a crash.  A hind wheel of the wagon had struck a jagged quartz boulder and tumbled to the ground in pieces.  To proceed further in the vehicle was utterly impossible.  The sun was already behind Mount Davidson, and the shades of evening were not far away.  There was nothing for it but to foot it home —— a three mile walk.  Mr. Button tried to make the Italians understand that if they would remain by the wagon and guard the calf he would send a team to get it on his arrival in town.  All they understood, however, was that they must get the calf to the city and get out of Mr. Button the full cash value.  Being two to one, they took the affairs of Mr. Button into their own hands.  Taking the horses out of the wagon, they loaded the calf upon the back of one of them.  After several trials it was found that the only way in which the calf could be made to stay loaded was to place it well forward on the animal with its legs astride its back and neck. When the calf had been mounted thus almost in his natural position in life, the Italians secured him with the lines from thee team. One of them then placed the bridle of the horse in the hands of Mr. Button and signed for him to lead on. Mr. Button began to object for he dreaded going into town in such style when Mrs. Button cried : "Do whatever they tell you, Joel, we are in their power, and they don't look any too good to murder us !"

            Master Bob was placed on the other horse and fell in behind his subjugated parent.   Behind Bob walked the two Italians and after them came Mrs. Button and the two girls, while Wo Sing followed with the fishing rods on his shoulder, and the dog Danger brought up the rear, looking sick and dejected.

            In this order they marched until within a mile of town, when the dog gave out and it was necessary to reform the procession. Bob was dismounted and Wo Sing put in his place with the sick dog in his arms. No one would hear of Danger being left behind to die with the hook and their only fish in his gullet. The procession entered the city in the edge of the evening, and in the following order :

Mr. Button leading the horse on which was lashed the calf.

Chinaman mounted, with dog in his arms.

Italian volunteers, marching two abreast.

Miss Kitty, Miss Button, and Mrs. Button, single file.

Master Bob Button, with fishing rods on his back, also single file.

            The people of the suburbs thought some new and queer kind of show was coming to town when this singular procession made its appearance, and a shouting rabble flocked forth.   Mr. Button was obliged to direct Bob and his women folks to take another road home, while he went with the Italians to a meat market to settle accounts.

            When Mrs. Button, her daughters and Bob, all weary, sick, and sore, had reached home it seemed good to them to find their house still left —— that it had not burned down.  But Mrs. Button suddenly broke out afresh : "There, as I live," cried she, "we did not get my shawl after all !  Run, Bob, and tell your father to tell the interpreter to tell them rascally Eyetalians to get my shawl and send it to me at once or we'll sue them for damages !"

            Two days later Mrs. Button received her shawl but for all that she's "never again go a-fishin' on a Friday —— nor shall any one of the Button family."

DAN DE QUILLE.